A dirge could be heard emanating from Ricky's apartment last week as the Fan fiefdom mourned the unexpected demise of Ricky's female lovebird. Its mate, appropriately renamed "O.J.", is being held in solitary confinement after he became enraged at his lady bird's seeming inability to lay fertile eggs. Obviously not well-versed in the male's role in potential avain fertility, O.J. felt compelled to prove his "manhood". In a shocking display, he proceeded to peck at and pull out his mate's feathers! Unfortunately his "lesson" was all but lost on the unfeathered female, who promptly caught pneumonia and croaked!

       The word from on high is that O.J. will remain mate-less for the time being as a penalty for causing all this mayhem. Nontheless, Ricky vows to try again in his quest for "grandfatherhood".